Getting "some" sleep...thanks to....

The picture says it all...fisher-price bouncer gives us our much neded sleep the vibrations and the lsw bouncy movements can put Rayyan to sleep for minimum 1 hour to maximum 3 hours! Heaven...... :D

Rayyan 2 months old and Eiiiid :)

Ok so here comes Eid...though Rayyan was supposed to be my Eid present he came as an "early" Eid present! Here are some pix from our Eid dinners and lunches :)






Phew! i had to so much work to do!

Weighty matters...

Ok...so here's the sad part of my life...my weight...ugggh...as you all know and read before how much I had gained during the third trimester, the "grand total" was..."drum roll" 50 pounds....yeah u heard me...50 pounds on my poor 5'4 and 115 pound body :(

So am working harrrd on it with walk and cutting down junk and have gone to minus 25 pounds...25 more to go....phew!

Rayyan 4-5 weeks old

Sleepy Rayyan



Angry Rayyan



Excited Rayyan



Rayyan thinking...when to cry next :P


Masha Allah my baby is getting big and stronger everyday and now responds very well mainly by crying a LOT and frowning...hehehe...he now makes these strange funny faces as if he is talking to us!

Bottle feeding :P

There's nothing much goin on in life except Rayyan...he does not sleep well and doesnt eat well at times...we have tried dream feeding him but apparently he's too small for that so we try to stuff him but he eats only as much as "he" wants so...that's hardly 1-1.5 oz for now...

My mom has bin a biiig help through out i dunno what would I have done without her as I am not breastfeeding cos Rayyan dint suck much and slowly and gradually it just ended....i used pumps and spoons and massages but Rayyan dint like mommy milk much cos he had already bin addicted to formula for 10 days at the hospital :(

I was already so upset about not being able to breastfeed and along came people's comments about how I was unable to breastfeed and how I was taking the easy way out by formual feeding...it hurt sooo much and I cried a lot thinking I was a bad mother for not taking care of myself or my baby in the first place and now this!

But Alhamdulilah my loved ones supported me and friends from babycentre.com helped a LOt...and those days are far behind :)

One month old...Aug.28,2008

Yesssssss finally 30 days have already passed and Rayyan is almost 3 kilos :)

25 days old and first day out...

The docs instructed us that we could not take Rayyan out to public places and not much people could come to visit us because of high probabilty of germs and virals because Rayyan is still small and has weak immune system...but today we went out for a quick dinner and yes Rayyan enjoyed it :)

23 days and first proper bath..

After days of sponge bathing finally we gave him a proper bath today...he didnt really like it but after the bath he seemed particularly fresh and kinda happy :P

Times are tough as he's growing well but still small and fragile...I owe my sanity to my God, my husband and my mom who has been a pillar of support and LOADS of help during tough times!



and yes those are his tiny feet...awwww...kiss. :)

20 days old...

Rayyan is almost a month now and sticking out his tongue! :P

15 days old and already growing Masha Allah!

yayyy...docs say Rayyan is alhamdulilah 2.9 kilos in mere 15 days! Very happy day 4 us today :)

Rayyan...12 days old...

my small baby...sooo tiny...people keep telling he's the tiniest baby they have seen...this tiny baby is my special baby...miracle & the love of my life! We are working on his health now as he has gone down from 2.4 kg to 2.2 kilos :(

The day we got Rayyan home from hospital...11days old, Aug.2008

Rayyan sleeping in his cosy cot :)

Rayyan yawning and the bandage still on...from where they took LOTS of blood to test for jaundice :(

Loooong time....!

Ok Ok I know I officially suck at blogging! But who can blame me newborn, preterm baby to look after...quite tough time! But now things are Alhamdulilah settled soooo m BACK...lets see for how long ;)

Rayyan is offcially 4 months now...I cant believe it...where did the time go..? Anyhoo to cut th elong story short...once again Iam here 2 restart where I left...so lets start from the day we got Rayyan home after his stay bcos of jaundice...

10 days and Jaundice

Got Raeyaan home and he had his first appointment with the doctor. Doctor said he might have mild jaundice and yes he has gone from his weight to 2.2 kg only :(

Made me so sad when they pricked him and took out blood to do the jaundice tests... anyhoo, was sitting at home late night got a call from the hospital that Raeyaan has high jaundice and has to be admitted in the hospital for photo therapy!

My heart skipped a beat...the same feeling when my water bag burst!

Rushed to the ER once again where after one hour of formalities they admitted him and us in the hospital...he was not only pricked...all clothes taken off and put in the incubator under the light...he cried like hell...he was just 10 days old and premature...too small & fragile to even take the pain of one prick let alone so may injections...he cried non stop for 2 hours...I went out of the room and left him with my mom and DH, I just couldn't see him crying...when nothing was in my hands and I couldn't calm him down!

When i came back he had fallen asleep...my heart felt sooo heavy whenever he cried that night...I jumped up...couldn't sleep all night!

The next day was much better...he slept well and fed well...cried less, too.

After almost 2 days he has been discharged cos his jaundice is back to normal...Alhamdulilah! I hope there are no more painful trips to the hospital...!

My Birth Story...at 35+3 weeks!

Yessssss.....SURPRISE!

Bubba Rayaan could not wait anymore...he just HAD to come out and see the world & meet his mommy & daddy! :P

It was Saturday morning 4am in the morning, DH was returning after an official trip...I was waiting patiently for him to come home after 3 long days. I laid on the sofa and suddenly...there was a gush of water, warm liquid gushed out and trickled down all over the sofa! I jumped up and the first thought that came in my mind was "MY BABY!" ... ran to the washroom and there was light bleeding...by this time my heart was literally thumping like mads, picked up the phone to call my husband and I just couldn't dial the number was shaking so bad!

Called him up and told him my water bag had burst...Silence...he was quiet for a few seconds and then he said "Iam on my way home in 10 mins..." his voice was dead......those 10 minutes were the longest ever of my entire life! I rushed here & there looking for napkins and changed my clothes so that we could rush to the ER immediately...DH came and we were out, throughout the journey kept praying that my baby was fine, reached hospital at 4:30 am and was taken to the ER in a wheel chair.

My doctor came asap and baby's heartbeat and movement was checked, doctor confirmed my most dreaded thoughts...my water bag had burst and HAD to deliver ASAP...baby was in distress but thank God his heartbeat got to normal soon. Lying there on the bed I looked at my husband and his face was blank...my doctor consoled us that 35 weeks was not that early and the baby will be fine.

Soon enough there were nurses all around me, my blood and urnine samples taken, oxygen mask given to me...another bad news soon came in...I had urine infection and it was REALLY high...Now there was no way out...my baby was in danger with the water bag now leaking he was open to the infection!

Soon enough i was being taken for ultrascan and I prayed to Allah...there he was, on the screen, moving...the blurry image made me cry, i felt like i was losing him...after a long wait and so many dreams i just did not want to lose my little miracle! The radiologist said the baby is healthy according to his gestational age and is 35 weeks old...but ofcourse he was tiny and smaller than normal full term babies...

Later that afternoon doctor told me i was going to be induced and had to deliver very soon...dh & i were so worried...but our faith was in Allah and only HE was our last resort...only HE could do miracles!

My so called normal pregnancy which so many people envied was no longer normal! I had no diabetese, my bp was good, my hb was good, my baby was growing healthy, i had no heartburn, no constipation, had spd but it was also mild and doc said i had the perfect pregnancy...uptil now!

I had no contractions no signs of labour starting, my first induction came at 6am sunday, OUCH! no pains started...2nd induction...nothing! 3rd gave me light cramps and was 2.5 cm dilated...then 4th on monday 12 pm triggered harder cramping...that had to be my last one because i cud not go overdose!

2pm monday, had lunch because doc said i needed the energy to push later when contractions started...3 days, me & my baby were monitored closely, CTG every 4/5 hours, bp, temptrature,sugar levels, urine tested, antibiotics, salts and sugars needled through me plus steroids injected for baby's lung maturity. I felt punctured all over! Continously leaking fluids and blood..all night listening to the heartbeat and counting baby movements, praying for the courage, the patience and the strength to make it through...

Monday 6pm my contractions started, was rushed to the delivery room, the time had come, i was sweating...DH was tensed...i was told i could opt for epidural and/or just plain gas n air or a light sedative...i opted for nothing but soon enough i was screaming for epidural and even begged my husband i wanted a C-section!

Nurse calmed me down and consoled it will be all over soon, she injected me with a mild sedative...at 9:45 pm after 4 hours of painful contractions, 5 pushes and a big tear, I heard him cry...the nurse laid him on my chest and he squirmed around. I couldnt believe he was finally there...right infront of me...all red, white and so small...hardly 5 pounds!

I called my family 2 tell teh good news as they were all so worried back home, I just could not take my eyes off my baby boy as they took him to the nursey...now he is home and has jaundice, every little squeak scares me and doc said i will have 2 work really hard with him...once again I pray to Allah for giving me strength to make it through!

Thanks to everyone for wishes and prayers :)

The Joys And Wonders Of Pregnancy...through my eyes :)

you wake up in the middle of the night to go to the loo...again & again & here we go....again!

you need some support just to roll over or change sides in bed

you can cry anytime anywhere, infront anyone! Ohhh...Just pass me the tissues please!

you lay in bed with 10 pillows under you...and....it is comfortable!

you think a lot as to whether u wud b a good mother & would you be able to cope with the stress that comes along with the new baby, the responsibities

you wait for those first time flutterings, movements anything...then assuming that gas might be the baby moving!

you wait for hours just to see that one kick, bounce punch ANYTHING inside your tummy wch consoles you that your baby is just fine

you are hungry ALL the time...yes and by hungry i mean...when I want a tall glass of milkshake with extra hot sauce, walnut toppings. After all baby needs calcium from the milk and icecream!

you hated donuts once upon a time but now all of a sudden u crave warm, fresh from the oven...Krispy Kreme!

you never thought you would eat raw pickles...but suddenly you have jars of pickeld carrots, picled onions and in my case pickled wild cucumbers...!

you look at other babies more closely than before thinking and often wondering for hours how your baby would look like....hmmm...more of mommy genes or daddy genes?

you lose your walk...and start waliking like a...ok that is not a walk...waddle like a duck cum penguin and still look cute!

you find flip flops and sneakers much more comfortable and forget that you once owned 4 inch hig heels

you are more comfy in nighties, pyjamas and clothes you would never be caught weraing!

you watch a baby cry at the subway and your heart cries out for the baby which is not even related to you

you see a baby across the street in a stroller and you quickly fantasise yourself in the mother's position with the stroller and your baby in it...ahhhh what a sweet fantasy!

you make budget lists of what to buy for the baby but go to the baby shops and just go overboard...the baby stuff is just too cute to ignore!

you tell everyone who cares to know that you're expecting!

you wake up late at night with the baby kicking inside and still smile!

you start to see your family as no more a couple but a 'family'

you can no more see your feet....you can not see them but yes they are swollen!

you were no science student but all of a sudden words like SPD, LMP, PGP, GTT, EFW, FBC etc begin to sound familar.

you wait in long lines & in the waiting room just to hear a heartbeat

you cant wait to see even if it is just a small & blurry image at first of your baby moving inside

you start collecting pinks and blue the second you know it's a boy or a girl

you hate drinking milk or eating veggies but for this life growing inside, you find substitutes and supplements for him/her to grow healthily

you give up on a lot of things u enjoyed just for the sake of your unborn baby

you are ready to go through all the pain that no man can ever imagine!

you are constipated and wonder how will I be able to push out something a size of a water melon when i cant even poop!

you have back pain...sometimes LOTS of it

you have this new found gratitude for your own mother for going through all of this and that

you are far from you pre pregnancy, fitness freak, size 2 body...but still happy!

you become teary eyed just looking at a Johnson's baby shampoo advertisment on tv!

you yearn to hold your bundle of joy in your arms and count each and every single day till the day he/she arrives!

you think twice before bending to pick up that fallen sock!

you dont shop for anything but baby stuff these days...ohhh, that designer diaper bag doesnt count, after all it will be used for my baby!

you want more of those cute maternity wears while you husband rolls eyes thinking why does she need those tents...ahhh...men!

you cook and eat with that extra special care just so that nothing you eat or drink may harm your baby

you talk to your tummy all day long and jump with joy when the little one responds!

"ahhhh there are loads more joys of pregnancy...maybe will update later..."

34 weeks & mommy cravings!

Your baby has reached nearly five pounds this week and is almost 18 inches long! Your baby has bulked up like the average cantaloupe.

Hiya...My 34th week started today and am so happy that my Bubba is almost 5 pounds! He is putting on pounds and so is mommy...cant stop craving french fries, chocolate bars, chocolate glazed & fresh from the oven donuts, Baskin Robbin milkshake.Ooofh!

Bad, bad mommy!

I think he is till breech, his head has not engaged although he does feel further down below than the past weeks but not head down entirely...still waiting for that...

Apart from that, went to Mothercare the other day and saw this "lovely" moses basket in blue and cream, instantly fell in love with it...so cuuuute! I was wondering if it lookes so cute empty how adoreable would it look with a baby in it...awwwww!

And yesss how could I forget adding that the stage of swelling like a whale has finally arrived, it started late this week and my feet dont fit my shoes! My rings are all tight and I had to rub cream to take my bracelets off last night!

3 stone...yikes!

Visited the doctor yesterday for my spd pain and also to ask her why was I waddling like a duck, and she very sweetly replied (Ok...not so sweetly...!) that I may have stood for long hours or jumped up the stairs or walked faster than I should have...I said NO to all of these things and then she looked at my reports and pointed out the 'ugly but true' fact that I had put on 20 kgs...3 stone...44 pounds...Yikes!

Okay, looking at me I dont look like I have gained 3 stone except the bum and tum part! But it really came as a shock that I had piled up so many pounds in a matter of weeks!

Reality check missy...33 weeks and 3 stone! Ahhhhhhhghhhhh!

33 weeks and SPD...?!?!?

Your baby is proportioned like a pineapple when it comes to weight -- a little over 4 pounds. (Length: more than 17 inches, head to heel.)

Only 49 more days to go...did YOU hear that...? 49 days...7 weeks...less than 2 months!!!!

Ahhh...now the countdown has begun although just when I thought my pregnancy was perfect, the joys of pregnancy are appearing one by one!(although I did vomit a LOT in the first trimester but my 2nd trimester was just wonderful!)

Iam constipated, a LOT, leg cramps are a norm now, getting out of bed is like...dont ask...I literally roll out of bed...it all started one sunny Sunday, my thighs and the pubic nerves wouldnt let me walk...climbing stairs is HELL...and now I have been told that I 'may' have pelvic girdle pain (PGP) also called symphysis pubis dysfunction (SPD).

Noooooo...how am I supposed to walk? There is sooo much shopping to do, I have to set up the nursery and get so many things for my Bubba and Iam unable to walk from one room to another... I dont walk now I waddle like a duck!

Will be going to my doctor tomorrow insha Allah and ask her if there is ANY thing I can do to ease the pain....who said pregnancy was going to be easy!?!?!?!

32 weeks and no GD...Yipeee!

Your baby is taking up more and more space in your uterus and weighs as much as a large jicama -- about 3 3/4 pounds. (Length: about 16 3/4 inches, head to heel.) chicken pasta :)

This week your baby is close to the 4 pounds, 17 inches mark, so it pretty much makes sense that you feel massive.In the latest womb reports, your amazing baby has now developed sensitivity to temperature!

Surprise! Your third trimester symptoms aren’t going away yet. (tell me something i dont know!). If you just got back from peeing, you already know that your bladder is nearing non-existent-land.

Yayyyy! I had my blood and urine tests yesterday and Alhamdulilah all is fine there, though the doctor did say I wasn't drinking enough water and asked me (ordered) to drink MORE water plus my hb was 13 when we started and it has fallen a bit and the doctor and my DH are not happy about it because i have a history of anaemia...I have to take more iron & leafy veggies and more meat...(ummmm!)

But the happiest news of the day is GTT was all fine...I dont have GD (gestational diabetes)...haaaaaa...! I was so scared, 'cos it runs in my family and I was also a heavy baby at birth...but thanks to Allah, my tests are all clear :)

Ok then going to cook now...making pasta with minced chicken and bell peppers (yummm).

Ciao